My Cold Moment

I feel like since we are all so different from each other, we have to go through our own "cold moments" and recognize our individuality and what sets us apart. If I had to pinpoint a cold moment in my life, it would probably feel pretty similar to Kathy's. The first thing that comes to mind is when I was going through chemotherapy, and the toll it was taking on me was really starting to show. At this point, I was still feeling pretty normal and hadn't really processed what I was going through, but had been avoiding mirrors because I wasn't comfortable looking at a reflection that looked nothing like me. So, even though I was aware that I looked different, I often forgot when I went in public and didn't remember until I tried to run my fingers through hair that wasn't there. 

When I looked around me, I began to see people staring at me. Instead of quickly glancing over as they walked past, they would take double-takes and stare, either in pity or confusion. Eventually I got somewhat used to this new kind of attention, but it never stopped bothering me. I would be especially upset if I was having a good day and wasn't thinking about the hospital or my treatment, only to then catch a pitying glance and remember what I was going through. People didn't mean to be rude by staring at me, but when you look different, it's hard to avoid. It's especially difficult when your appearance triggers emotional responses, and people can't help but notice your bald head and emaciated body, not only feeling pity but also possibly reminded of a loved one of their own who was/is sick.